Speaking of NSFW, whoever
@fly? is doing the coding for the site, consider a "Boss" key. I've done that at a few sites I've ran. Basically you have a small link in 1-2 places on every page that directly pulls up a full screen JPG of an Excel screen or Windows screen. If you want to really make it kill you do a child theme "Dark 2 - run2windows" and another for "Dark 2 run2Excel".
View attachment 3564
<img src=" your file
" id="bg" alt="">
//CSS
#bg {
position: fixed;
top: 0;
left: 0;
/* Preserve aspet ratio */
min-width: 100%;
min-height: 100%;
}