Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

Why was Cinderella such a bad soccer player?

Because her coach was a pumpkin.

 

[gee]

Got a job working at a factory making Dracula toys.

There were only two of us working on the line, so I had to make every second count.

 

[Jehannum]

I just read that Sylvester Stallone is on his third marriage.

Guess the first one was Rocky, and the second one was Rocky, Too.

 

[Jehannum]

In LOTR, baby trees are fed by entitties.

 

[Jehannum]

After spending hours unclogging the sink and bathtub, I'm feeling drained.

 

[Jehannum]

You never see vaccines made out of holy water, because you shouldn't take the Lord's name in vein.

 

[Jehannum]

When the astronaut reached orbit for the first time, her words were, "Finally the weight is over!"

 

[Jehannum]

I'm not a big fan of people who take drugs.

For example, the TSA.

 

[Jehannum]

What's small, red, and whispers?

A hoarse radish.

 

[Jehannum]

@AppleTurkey has a rule against telling Billy Joel jokes, so I haven't told one in the longest time.

 

[Jehannum]

Wizards don't fart, they cast smells.

 

[Jehannum]

got into an accident with a truck carrying canned orange juice.

I should have concentrated more.

 

[Jehannum]

What has 5 toes but isn't your foot?

My foot.

 

[Jehannum]

what's a foot long and slippery?

a slipper.

 

[Jehannum]

Even if you put a grizzly in socks and shoes, it still has bear feet.

 

[Jehannum]

An Egyptian's anus technically ends at the sphinxter.

 

[Jehannum]

What do you call an animal that studies astrology?

A zodi-yak.

 

[Jehannum]

I sympathize with batteries, as I'm not included in anything either.

 

[Jehannum]

I hope the guy who stole all my antidepressants is happy now.

 

[Jehannum]

There's a bullfrog that keeps trying to give me invesment advice, but I'm afraid it might be a pond-sy scheme.