[Contest] UF Xmas Giveaway Week 1: WINNER

[Ledboots]

I enjoyed all of those, great job.

 

[helenabear]

Omg did you write this? !!??!

Yep that one was mine. Somehow it came to my head and wrote it in like 10 minutes. You are a muse!

 

[strawberry love]

incredibly obvious who wrote every story.

Is it really?

 

[my little brony]

Yep that one was mine. Somehow it came to my head and wrote it in like 10 minutes. You are a muse!

that is fucking amazing

 

[Duke]

Is it really?

I've been trying to figure out which one you wrote...

I'm starting to think the Maureen/Thintoast one was you.

 

[my little brony]

I'm disappointed no one laughed at thintoast being turned into a dog named camry I probably could have cut that whole section out and come in under the 700 words

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

I'm disappointed no one laughed at thintoast being turned into a dog named camry I probably could have cut that whole section out and come in under the 700 words

Who was the other guy?

 

[Domon]

who was the masturbating primate in the corner?

 

[Petunia]

Yep that one was mine. Somehow it came to my head and wrote it in like 10 minutes. You are a muse!

Omg I laughed my ass off.
-Michael Kors hobo
-kicked the cat...eewww



Omfg

You killed it

 

[my little brony]

Who was the other guy?

who was the masturbating primate in the corner?

I have no idea, I was hoping there would be speculation

 

[Ledboots]

I'm disappointed no one laughed at thintoast being turned into a dog named camry I probably could have cut that whole section out and come in under the 700 words

That's what I laughed at, the camry reference.

 

[helenabear]

Omg I laughed my ass off.
-Michael Kors hobo
-kicked the cat...eewww



Omfg

You killed it

Really glad you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun picturing you doing all this!

I'm disappointed no one laughed at thintoast being turned into a dog named camry I probably could have cut that whole section out and come in under the 700 words

That got me laughing too. I'm sure I'm biased but I really liked the story a lot (my fave of the bunch).

 

[Jimmycrackcorn]

Is it really?

it's obviously not....I saw one idiot think I wrote one

 

[kiwi]

I'm disappointed no one laughed at thintoast being turned into a dog named camry I probably could have cut that whole section out and come in under the 700 words

It was probably my favorite part.

I'm now glad I didn't bother entering. I wouldn't have come close to those.

 

[thintoast]

The Trey story. That's gotta be either @thintoast or @jimmycrackcrybaby

You would think so, wouldn't you.

 

[Petunia]

#obsessed

 

[tre]

It was a dark and stormy night in the desolate town of Canadiaville. Tre sits in his deteriorating 1970’s leather desk chair with a mouse in his right hand, a 2L bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red in his left, and a rogue spring from the old mans chair tearing through his spiderman underpants and penetrating his anus. The alarm clock on his plywood desk held up by two pvc pipe sawhorses is his daily reminder that once it goes off he should stand on his chair, take a big swig of his Mountain Dew Code Red, throw his Viking helmet across the room, shout “FUCK YEAH!!!” and then send his 1998 Compaq Pentium into overdrive as he clicks submit and watches his 28k dial up modem crank out triplechinjcc.jpg. He stands on his chair with grease in his hair and his big santa belly overlapping his Ford seabelt buckle belt as he watches his Wimdows ME machine think hoping that maybe this time, he’ll be able to submit it once before the whole system crashes.

As is by design though, the BSOD is an unwelcome sight. Tre knows that his Viking rain dance was all for naught. Tre though, the ever determined man that he is, resets his mystery machine, waits 45 minutes to load all of the totally rad toolbars and the desktop stripper and resets his troll position. He fetches his Viking helmet, resupplies his Mountain Dew Code Red, sits down in his chair, allowing the corkscrew spring to easily slide up his butthole and waits for the alarm clock to go off again.

3...2…1

Chug chug chug chug chug… whoosh… crash… FUCK YEAH!!! Click…

5% uploaded… 10%... 20%... 30%... 31%... 32%...

Oh fuck.

75%... 80%... 85%... 90%... HOLY JESUS IT’S GOING TO WORK!!!

95%...99%...

…

100%!!!

Hooray!!! The image is posted, and now tre sits back in his anus chair awaiting the fruits of his labor in the form of lols and rofls.

The only reply… #obsessed

i thought these stories were supposed to be fiction?